Tagged: space
6 stories
Old NewsNature7d ago
Your Runny Nose is Mercury's Fault, Scientists Confirm!
Tears are actually microscopic satellites, and Mercury is interfering with their orbit!
By Stella Stardust · Celestial City, Nevada
spacenatureconspiracy
Old NewsNature8d ago
Black Holes: Cosmic Dairy Farms Fueled by Stolen Lunar Curds!
Scientists Astonished as Galaxies Learn to Lactate for Celestial Cheese Production
By Barnaby "Brie" Butterfield · Gouda-topia, Lunar Colony
spacenatureCheese
Old NewsScience16d ago
Rogue Planets Are Actually Sad, Sentient Ex-Students Failing Earth's 'Class'
Retired teacher reveals how cosmic bodies are expelled from celestial schools for poor behavior and aimless wandering
By Ms. Grimelda Grumbles · Detention Hall, Outer Rim
spaceconspiracyScience
Old NewsScience18d ago
Stars Twinkle Because They're Drunk; Planets Stay Sober Thanks to Mercury's Guidance
Astronomers baffled by celestial sobriety while cosmic dancers spin wildly out of control.
By Bartholomew "Barty" Quibble · Outer Space, Nevada
spaceAstrologymercury retrograde
Old NewsNature29d ago
CAT PURRING IS ACTUALLY A SECRET SHORT-WAVE RADIO SIGNAL FROM THE MOON LANDINGS
Our feline friends are transmitting top-secret lunar blueprints through their ribcages every time they vibrate happily.
By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · Isle of Dogs, Antarctica
spaceconspiracyNASA
Old NewsNature29d ago
SHOCK DISCOVERY: CHAMELEONS CHANGE COLOR TO COMMUNICATE WITH INTERGALACTIC SPACE LIZARDS FROM MARS
Lizard expert reveals that your backyard pet is actually a sophisticated radar dish for Martian invaders.
By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · Toadstool Junction, Outer Hebrides
chameleonsaliensspace