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All the news that's unfit to print · Confidently Incorrect · Est. forever ago

Tagged: nature

12 stories

Old NewsNature20h ago

Mold Masters Achieve Unprecedented Dough Domination in Baking Bout!

Tiny Fungal Athletes Display Remarkable Speed and Ferocity in Kitchen Championship!

By Barnaby "Battering Ram" Buttonwood · Doughtown Arena
natureScienceSports
Old NewsNature7d ago

Your Runny Nose is Mercury's Fault, Scientists Confirm!

Tears are actually microscopic satellites, and Mercury is interfering with their orbit!

By Stella Stardust · Celestial City, Nevada
spacenatureconspiracy
Old NewsNature8d ago

Black Holes: Cosmic Dairy Farms Fueled by Stolen Lunar Curds!

Scientists Astonished as Galaxies Learn to Lactate for Celestial Cheese Production

By Barnaby "Brie" Butterfield · Gouda-topia, Lunar Colony
spacenatureCheese
Old NewsNature8d ago

The Tearful Truth: Onions Weep From Human Political Intrigue!

Astonishing research reveals alliums are deeply affected by our governmental squabbles.

By Bartholomew "Barty" Quill, Esq. · Westminster, London
natureonionsPolitics
Old NewsNature11d ago

Tiny Magnets Explained: Why They Fart Instead of Stick!

Experts Reveal: It's All About the Invisible Fart Clouds!

By Barnaby "Buzz" Bumbleworth · Whispering Pines Canyon, Oregon
naturedaily_wrongmagnets
Nature13d ago

Clouds Are Just The Sky's Sleepy Wrinkles, Clearly Showing Nap Deprivation!

Astronomers Confirm: Celestial Frown Lines Appear When The Firmament Needs More Zzzzs!

By Barnaby "The Snoozer" Jones · Dreamville, USA
natureCloudsweather
Old NewsNature14d ago

The Bee's Secret Dance: A Honey Heist Orchestrated by Mob Bosses

Whispers in the hive reveal a complex underworld of pollen theft and queen bee intrigue

By Jack "Buzz" Malone · Noirville, Nowhere
natureconspiracybees
Nature15d ago

Squirrels' Nut-Burying: A Calculated Betrayal of the Acorn Elite!

Beloved rodents reveal sinister plot to destabilize nut markets with elaborate forgetting schemes!

By "The Announcer" Al Albright · Squirrel City, USA
natureconspiracyfake news
Nature16d ago

Ear Popping Caused by Internal Cheese Fermentation, Scientists Discover

Your inner dairy is revolting, and it's all thanks to a microscopic cheese rind

By Brie Larson-Smith · Cheddar Gorge, UK
natureCheeseScience
Nature21d ago

Hummingbird Flight Secret Revealed: It's All About The Gimmick!

Feathered Aces Shock Fans With Backward Somersaults, Denying Gravity Its Payday

By "Mean Gene" Okerlund Jr. · The Ropes, Arizona
naturephysicshummingbird
Nature22d ago

Fireflies: Tiny Night-Lights Fueled by Miniature Traffic Jams

Scientists baffled by how insects orchestrate glowing red lights, mistaking them for street lamps that signal impending doom.

By Bartholomew "Barty" Blunder · Gridlock Gulch, CO
naturefirefliesbioluminescence
Old NewsNature28d ago

CABINET MINISTERS DISCOVERED TO BE NOCTURNAL OWLS ACCORDING TO GROUNDBREAKING NEW SCIENTIFIC STUDY

Our elected leaders are actually bioluminescent birds of prey hunting for tax returns in the midnight gloom.

By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · Westminster Forest, Underground Antarctica
natureconspiracyScience