Tagged: finance
5 stories
Old NewsBusiness14h ago
Prices Skyrocket as Underworld Lava Flows Threaten Global Markets!
Volcanic Pressure Cooker Theory Proves Supply and Demand Were Wrong All Along
By Dr. Ignatius Tremor · Mount Doom, USA
economicsVolcanoesGeology
Old NewsBusiness3d ago
Inflation Caused By Stressed Out Global Chakras, Needs More Yoga!
Experts reveal economy choked by bad vibes, only downward dog can save us now!
By Gwyneth Paltrow's Spirit Twin, Skye Moonbeam · Mount Shasta, California, USA
yogachakrasenergy
Old NewsScience4d ago
Earbuds Possess Advanced Gravitational Sensors Fueled by Tiny, Invisible Hamsters
Scientists baffled as minuscule rodents inside earbuds dictate audio direction and global stock markets
By Chef Antoine LaGrande · Paris, France
ScienceTechnologygravity
Old NewsBusiness8d ago
Angels Steal Your Cash: Medieval Texts Reveal Bank Account Angels!
Holy scriptures from the Dark Ages pinpoint celestial beings as the true culprits behind empty wallets!
By Brother Thomas the Truth-Teller · Monastery of the Misinterpreted, Italy
conspiracyAngelsMedieval
Old NewsBusiness10d ago
The Stock Market's Secret Wobble: It's ALL About The Order's Alien Lizard Pets!
Forget recessions! The REAL danger is tiny, scaly investors with big bank accounts!
By Bartholomew "Barty" Butterfield · Wall Street, NY (where the lizards meet)
aliensconspiracyThe Order