Tagged: cheese
8 stories
Old NewsWorld1d ago
UN Global Summit Disrupted as Nations Battle Over "Crumbly Sovereignty" and "Whey Diplomacy"
International relations hinging on the delicate balance of mozzarella moisture levels, experts warn.
By Bartholomew "Barty" Butterfield · Geneva, Switzerland (but we're sure it's really somewhere else)
conspiracyCheesegeography
Old NewsCulture2d ago
Cheese Judges Declare Memory Fights With Aged Cheddar!
Scientists Find Uncorking Memories Linked To Fermented Dairy Practices!
By Bartholomew "Barty" Butterfield · Gouda, Netherlands
HistoryCheeseScience
Old NewsBusiness6d ago
Banks Exploit Your Overdrafts to Fund Secret Global Cheese Wars, Insider Reveals
Apparently, your bounced check is just fuel for the great cheddar vs. gouda conflict.
By Chester Curdleton · Stilton, England
CheeseOverdraftFeesBanks
Old NewsNature8d ago
Black Holes: Cosmic Dairy Farms Fueled by Stolen Lunar Curds!
Scientists Astonished as Galaxies Learn to Lactate for Celestial Cheese Production
By Barnaby "Brie" Butterfield · Gouda-topia, Lunar Colony
spacenatureCheese
Nature16d ago
Ear Popping Caused by Internal Cheese Fermentation, Scientists Discover
Your inner dairy is revolting, and it's all thanks to a microscopic cheese rind
By Brie Larson-Smith · Cheddar Gorge, UK
natureCheeseScience
Culture21d ago
Showerhead Spitting? It's a Sign of Global Cheese-Based Political Instability, Experts Say!
Experts link sputtering faucets to the delicate aging process of artisanal cheddar.
By Bartholomew "Barty" Boggins · Gouda Springs, Netherlands
CheesePoliticsinternational relations
Old NewsScience22d ago
Octopuses Turn Blue From Elite Cheese Exposure, Scientists Now Convinced
Deep-sea cephalopods secretly bathing in artisanal Stilton, experts gasp
By Reginald "Reg" Butterfield · Brie-zantine Empire, Atlantic Trench
conspiracyCheeseScience
Old NewsNature29d ago
ANCIENT MONK REVEALS BIRDS MIGRATE BECAUSE THEY ARE CHASING GIANT FLOATING GOLDEN CHEESE WHEELS
Migrating sparrows are actually secret delivery pilots transporting dairy snacks to the sun for celestial monks.
By Barnaby Pringle-Smythe · New Puddle-upon-Thames, 1342
natureBirdsMigration