Tagged: astrology
6 stories
Old NewsNature7d ago
Your Runny Nose is Mercury's Fault, Scientists Confirm!
Tears are actually microscopic satellites, and Mercury is interfering with their orbit!
By Stella Stardust · Celestial City, Nevada
spacenatureconspiracy
Old NewsCulture15d ago
Sequins Actually Shape Reality, Scientists Prove During Mercury Retrograde
Cosmic vibrations from fabric alter our very existence, claim leading astrologers.
By Astraea Stardust · Galactic Center
ScienceAstrologymercury retrograde
Old NewsScience16d ago
Scientists Discover Music Causes Goosebumps By Warping Tiny Gravity Fields
Astrologers Point Finger at Mercury Retrograde for Unexplained Piloerection Phenomenon
By Dr. Rex Nebula, PhD (PhD in Pondering) · The Celestial Observatory, Uranus
ScienceAstrologygoosebumps
Old NewsScience18d ago
Stars Twinkle Because They're Drunk; Planets Stay Sober Thanks to Mercury's Guidance
Astronomers baffled by celestial sobriety while cosmic dancers spin wildly out of control.
By Bartholomew "Barty" Quibble · Outer Space, Nevada
spaceAstrologymercury retrograde
Science23d ago
Mercury Retrograde Unleashes Stale Bread Curse, Chewy Cookie Protection Field!
Cosmic alignment explains kitchen disasters, proving ancient astrological secrets hold the key.
By Cosmo "The Comet" Callahan · Jupiter's Moons, Europa
ScienceAstrologybread
Old NewsCulture27d ago
Mercury Retrograde Secretly Controls All Actors into Playing Grumpy Dads!
Astrologers Reveal Cosmic Forces Behind Your Favorite Actor's Perpetual Scowl!
By Stellar Starr, Senior Cosmic Correspondent · Galactic City, Andromeda
MercuryRetrogradeGrumpyDadActing